Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Girls should come with a carfax report
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
