Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
