Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
