Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
