So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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