That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
zippers are such a cool invention
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
