At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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