A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
