it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
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We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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