Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
