I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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