i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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