There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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