I will die if light touches me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize