im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
