I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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