i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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