if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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