I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
