Nicole vs. Life
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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