seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
