I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
