I just cut my nipple shaving
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
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i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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