who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He passed out mid-signature
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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