Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
