i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
