I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
