Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
