Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
