I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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