Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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