evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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