My friends, they love my intelligence
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?