guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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