haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
