is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
