not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize