I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
