she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
