Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
