This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's shark week go big or go home
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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