Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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