So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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