Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
