The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
