I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
