I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
