I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
