My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
