if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
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New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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