I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
