I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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