Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
