kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
