dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
