i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
