You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize