My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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