you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
