yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
