i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize