kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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