My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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